Overheard in a yoga studio

"It's politically incorrect to plant grass on a sunday." - Elderly white woman.

Uh, say what?

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MUST HAVE LINKS

Ok, so here's some MUST HAVE links, enjoy!

Top 10 Firefox Extensions

Del.icio.us Social Bookmarking

Free courses from MIT!

Top 25 free Bittorrent Sites

Halo Scan, blogger's best friend.

Serials and Cracks

The Creative Circle for freelance work.

That's it for now, have fun - The Toast

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Big Pimpin, spending G's

Though i have to admit, i always thought he was saying 'spending cheese' for some reason. Like 'cheese' was the new ebonic for money or something. Er, nevermind...

But i wish to GOD i had some G's to spend, as the roster for the trailer recording was full and i don't have the chance to sing for $ this weekend. Sucks so bad cause it's not my fault the friggin' lady never checked her email in time for me to get on it! And i sent her 2 emails! And i needs the monies!

Urg, damn morality, damn the airtight job market, damn the need for mental health, and damn the high cost of california living. If i wasn't so afraid of being a hippie, i'd be one, live in yunno, the wilderness and all, eating...seeds and stuff...twigs. But i'm NOT a hippie and i am scared of bears, wolves, coyotes, clowns, the darkness (not THE Darkness (ok, well THE Darkness as well)), things that make noise, pine nuts, so i'm really stuck where i am.

But about the monies, need some, need MORE. And not even so that i can buy shit, cause shit should be free, but just so's i can live comfortably, have a beer out sometimes, go to a movie, etc without worrying about taking monies from groceries to do so. OOooh, i just remembered that i have a deposit coming back to me in the next month, fweedle, that will give me a nice blanket if something comes up, like a trip to hawaii maaaaaaaybe?

I guess i get so whiny and tired of being poor because i've never been poor before. Up until after college, my family always had money to do fun things, we weren't rich mind you, but we were very comfy. My parents always gave me money, never asked what i did with it, as long as i didn't come home with slutty clothes, which i rarely did. During the summers i was waitressing, and making some damn fine money at it as well, so i always had funding to save a little and go out with Aisha a lot. Then after college, depression set in, i never wanted to get out of bed to work, couldn't find a decent job (had no office xp and those are the well paying jobs), lived with (bleh) Devin (and we all know how well that was on my sanity), and my parent's airline went bankrupt leaving my dad with no retirement money and my mom with a 25% pay cut. Ever since 2005 it's been one crap-doodle storm after another, and only now do i have my hand touching the surface of the tar pond i was so unwillingly heaved into.

If i knew then what i know now, i probably would not have saved more. It's easy to want to believe that i would have bought one less power ranger toy, went to one less club, but i was happy doing what i was doing and even if i had an extra $100 right now, it wouldn't make me feel any better. Quite frankly, it's not for myself i want things to be better for, it's my parents i care more about. I wish the airline didn't make my father retire at 60 because of some archaic rule that somehow allows my mom to fly until she's dust, but my dad to stop right in his prime. I wish it hadn't gone bottom-out and cancelled out a lot of money for employees. I wish my father didn't have to work because his retirement pension was cut, i also wish that his job didn't require so much of him so that he comes home utterly exhausted all the time. I wish all that hadn't led to him having a heart attack. I wish my mom didn't have to fly full-time in order to afford the re-mortgage on the house, which was supposed to be paid off years ago. I wish she was less tired, both of my parents in fact, so that when i call them they can do more than just bitch about how bad things are and i don't seem to help or understand. I wish that instead of working to the knuckle, they could actually enjoy their life, enjoy their family, so that none of use felt like we were missing out on each other. (re reading that, maybe i should make more of an effort now in my young adult life to save some money in case something like this happens...)

Then there's the more selfish reasons, like i wish they could send me my car so that i didn't have to bike 6 miles to work every morning in the bitter cold, but mostly i want things to be ok so that my parents are ok. My biggest fear in life, scarier than the dark, murderers, zombies, etc, is that one day my parents will suddenly die and i will have missed out on all this time with them. I call them, i talk to them and listen, but they're so far away and i need them so much that it's heartbreaking to think of having them be gone without seeing them first. I haven't seen my dad in years, do you read that, YEARS, and that may not be so bad, but i am really REALLY close to my parents. Some people are so-so with their rents, hate them, get along, but i really get along with my parents and we are so close, they truly are the hugest part of me.

Since his heart attack, my dad has lost some weight, i've seen in pictures, but there's this ghostly fatigue to his face that frightens me to the core. Our relationship has suffered in the past years due to a number of things, and is only now starting to rebuild itself. Just thinking about him makes me tear and want to bawl my eyes out, i love him so much, and he's just so damn far away. I want to have good time with him before the ghost is all there is left, and i truly feel like my time is running out. The sad fact is that my parents, no matter how much i want them to, will not be around long enough for my kids to remember. I hope and pray and ask as many deities as i can that this will not be the case, but the fear/realization that it may well be is a sad but good buffer fron if/when it comes to fruition.

Truth is, i have to be happy having less money, happy with less stuff, doing less things, and treasure that which i have, the full richness of life without clutter, enjoying my family and friends now, no matter their proximity, and taking all of life's good and bad at the same time while maintaining a bright outlook for the future. BLARGEN FRUNKER MUNKERS AND BERRIES!!! Sooooo easy to say, soooooo hard to do! But i am tryin' i really really really am!

(but yeah, i still wish i had more money, not willing to sell out for it though, and there's my downfall...)

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Quite frankly...

I'm disappointed in you. No, not you, you. Yes you. And you, over there. You too.

The last 5 posts have gone completely un-commented and like i said, i'm disappointed. That's unacceptable guys, and really, i'm just ashamed of it all.

What, you're not good enough to comment? You don't think one little comment will make any bit of difference in this crazy mixed-up world? Well you're wrong, dead wrong. Wrowng!

Or is it that you're scared, scared of what you might write, scared to let your true feelings come out! That's fine, just bottle them up inside until one day you just can't take them anymore. You'll push all your internet friends away and end up eating canned peas in front of a keyboard at 2 am.

Don't let that happen. DON'T... let that happen. Together we can fight this. We, must, fight this.

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I see famous people...all the time...

I do in fact, one famous person in particular: Alex Borstein.

She played Ms. Swan on Mad TV and is the voice of Lois on family guy.

I couldn't place her when i saw her and she's moonlighting under her married name of Douglas. That sneaky lady. She's reserved and quiet, esp today, it's nice to meet and see a comedian who's not always "on". I'll tell her i think she's awesome next time, but for now, i'll sit back and bask in the glow of having my beloved Ms. Swan so close to my heart...

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I cannot help

But pass on this post, it is cliff's noted for your attention span...

[from Pisser]
I STINK.
The homeless guy was right.

I am horrible and I smell.

Anyway, I think and the awfulness is starting to seep out through my pores. Halp-!

So, does anyone know the name of some foofoo juice which does not:
-reek
-turn all funky after an hour or so
-make people go, what is that horrid stench?!
-smell like Tidy Cat & ammonia mixed with mothballs like the last (expensive!) stuff I got? Because I read somewhere that perfume contains bobcat pee, and I am starting to believe it.

It doesn't have to being a puffume; it can be a soap or lotion or anything that doesn't smell like your grandmother's panty drawer sachet.

Be assured, I will not steel your secret potion and seduce all your lovers, because everything breaks down on me like compost heap and I end up smelling like a somewhat gassy, rainbow-colored cloud hanging over a used maxi pad anyway, no matter how much dough I frivolously shilled out for the stink-water. My father says it's all man repellent, anyway.

But pleez to helping me not to smell all the time so bad, like cat box.

[comments:]
Go cheap, easy, and natural. Get a spray bottle full o tap water (i'm sure you have one around for the taming of cats) and 1/2 tbsp or 'one giant glob' of any essential oil. Try peppermint if you want to smell like a stick of gum, rose if you want to smell like a disney movie starring hillary duff, or bergamot if you want to smell like bathroom poop-cover sprays. Shake vigorously and spray (yourself, not the cats). Do not drink or attempt to fly.
Yeaaahtoast | Homepage | 03.20.07 - 1:17 pm | #

Take please prostate of khazak hedgehog and grind into paste. Smear paste on and about girlpenis. Hedgehog must be killed in traditional way of drowning in rusty bucket of old lady urine while smoking camel non filter from 1967...the summer of love and checking goat for pregnancy.
And SHAZZAM! You vagin smell like petal of rose.
Trust me for this to be true.
th'rev | Homepage | 03.21.07 - 12:37 am | #

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I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!!!

I'm doing my best impression of a pirate right now. For you lay men out there, this means that yesterday morn Mahea was smacked in the left eye with a rosebush branch and subsequently has to look like a Days wannabe hard ass a little while longer. Maybe i should stud mine like Fancy...

It is beyond boring at work. No one wants to come and do yoga at 7 am when it's cold and raining outside. Frankly, i don't blame them. I know i'd rather be home in my warm bed, in my new apartment, with a kitty and a few winks. And since in my house is the only place i can take this gorram eye patch off, i have another incentive for wanting to be there.

Boss lady is going to be here today, and boss man on fridays, so goofing off is limited. And by limited, i mean i can only do it about 85% of the time, which is a sad thing indeed. My doctor said little tv and no video games till the weekend to make sure my eye it tip top. However, i can't stay away from this for very long.

Apartment is slowly getting together, s'kinda weird not having my own bed, but i know it's in good hands. I'm wishing the cold would stop, that i had more money, that i was taking better care of myself, but many of those things can be solved by a little patience and a lot of sleep.

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Drabble: I saw Mahea kissing Santa Claus

Evan woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one shimmering box that looked like a spork.

Then Evan noticed that Mahea was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

Evan thought that he would surprise Mahea. Maybe even sneak up behind her and break her on her fulfilling nose. That always made Mahea dank.

Evan crept drearily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its annoying lights, and the presents, heaped up naughtily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Mahea. Kissing someone.

Evan was so angry, he picked up a milk carton from a table and threw it huskily inside a milk carton.

They both looked around.

"Mahea, you burning cat!" Evan yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Evan looked and then rubbed his ear and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Mahea said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a delicious kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Evan said warily. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be slutty."

That seemed reasonable. Evan went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a shadow drawn by an emo kid, crying in the corner of the room. He made Evan's elbow feel all glistening.

"You see?" Mahea said dreamily and Evan saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

----
Italicized are the words/phrases i filled in. Sometimes it didn't work. Slutty surprisingly worked. Spork did not.

Try Drabble-ing for yourself!

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It's finally here!!!

No, not the Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual Sale you doops, the "big move"!

Omg, i honestly can't believe it's really here. We've been talking about moving in for so long, agonized, fought, shed tears, laughed, planned, sighed, squealed, and now that it's here... i have to admit i'm a smidge terrified.

The fact of the matter is, i'm afraid it won't work out (we all know how well it went the last time i moved in with a boy, i know that was a totally different situation, still...). But honestly, that seems to be a constant fear in all relationships doesn't it? You find someone you truly love and somewhere in the back of your brain sits a great big 'what if it doesn't work out' goblin lightly jabbing you with a fondue fork. Yeah ok, sometimes he jabs harder than other times, sometimes he sleeps for a few hours, sometimes you take the meds your doctors prescribe and he turns into a pink butterfly bunny with cherry cream ears and a jelly bean nose...doesn't make him less real.

However large/small/real/unreal/tanigble/intangible said fear/goblin is/isn't, fearing that it might not work out isn't a good enough reason NOT to try, so i'm gonna, and there's nothing you girls can do about it! Although, encouragement is always nice. And maybe a plant. Something cat friendly.

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Despite my best efforts...

My turtles will not die. Twice, TWICE i have tried to kill them and TWICE these chinatown bastards have come back from the seemingly dead. I must be losing my touch... though i've never taken on "ancient" animals. Fish die if you just look at them, my hampsters ate each other then died (as are the ways of rodentia), but turtles, they've got some skills.

I think i need to re-evaluate my tactics and try again...

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I like it best when...

I ride my bike to the bus stop in the pouring rain at 4 am to catch 2 buses, one of which leaves me in chinatown during the early (still dark) hours.

I insist on playing WOW till 2 am when i know i have to get up in just a few hours.

My computer crashes during WOW, letting me know it's time for bed.

I never get warm enough to sleep very well.

I have to move my entire life in boxes and clean clean CLEAN the old house cause all my deposit money rests on it.

I still don't have a car, and my cd's were in the old one that got broken into.

I never tell my parents when i get a new job because i think they'll judge me, because well, they always do.

I wish i had more money, but i'm not willing to do self-compromising things to get it.

I feel sickness creeping into my throat and pop airborne knockoff tablets every hour cause #1) i'm too cheap to buy REAL airborne, and 2) i've already decided that i CANNOT get sick, and 3) i've somehow convinced my brain into thinking their liquid death from hell is actually bad juice.

I hear funny noises in the night and convince myself that they're zombies and holy god we're all going to die.

I fear for my cat's life, even when there's no danger, and it makes me so upset to think of him dying, ever.

I get PMS and realize it AFTER i bitch someone out.

I forget to pack a lunch.

It takes hours to get home, literally!

My favorite book line only has expensive hardcover editions of the latest release i am dying to read.

I don't have my own set of keys to my workplace so i have to juggle borrowing other employees'.

I set the alarm off at work at 6:45 am, so the entire neighborhood can hear it, cause i went in the wrong door. Then put in the wrong code. Then put in the right code. Then talk to an agent with the security company about how much, in actual amounts, of a dipshit i am cause i went in the wrong door (totally on accident) and how this is my first time opening by myself and no i don't know the account password, and where can i find it?

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