In the nick of time.

I'll be the first person to admit that time management is not something I do well.

Ugh, as soon as I write that, I am already reaching for the 'delete' button. However, I need to leave it alone, it's the truth. Though I'm not happy about it, that truth needs to be admitted.

It's a great joke in Hawai'i, that we run on Hawai'ain time. Basically, this means we're always 20 minutes behind what the actual clock says. You might think it stops at just a joke, but it's a universally known truth that we Hawai'ians tend to be 5-20 minutes late for just about everything. Not only that, but it's perfectly acceptable as well, and usually expected.

Well, I'm not in Hawai'i anymore (as is painfully realized every day that I wake up) and I'm also older and out of the nest so I directly feel the consequences of my own tardiness.

I HATE to admit it, but I am in some way always late to work every day. *CRINGE* (Trying not to delete that either...) When invited out, I'm sad to say that Evan and I tend to be the "late couple". I hate it. I mean, I REALLY REALLY hate it.

A lot of the reason I'm late in the morning is because I haven't had enough sleep. I go to bed late, every day. Not late as in "oh it's 4 am", more like late as in "I was supposed to be in bed 45 mins ago". So what's with all the late nights? Nothing really. I'm typically just watching TV or futtzing around on the internet.

I have some strange notion that when I'm sleeping, I'm missing something in my life. Instead of recharge time, I feel like I could be doing something anything that would be more interesting that sleeping. Problem is, I am so tired at that point, I am just watching TV or on the internet as I already said; i.e. doing mindless worthless activities.

I know that if this continues, it could mean disaster later in life: business meetings lost, potential wedding FAIL, missed appointments, tests, birthday parties... It's not that bad now by any means, but it does make me feel unreliable. I want to be counted on, depended on, hoped for, but that's impossible when one is chronically late.

Some people can live and work by a schedule, a date book, or day-to-day plan. I've tried, and failed miserably. While I like a clean and orderly house, desk, planner, car, etc, a clean and orderly schedule I avoid like peanut butter and bananas(aka: DEATH). I'm not a "fly by the seat..." girl, I would die as a "minute-by-minute planned" person.

So that brings me to the word of the day week year millennium eh, probably the most important word of all time: BALANCE.

It always comes back to balance. Time, being the most challenging thing to balance of.. well... all time I guess! It seems hard to balance something that's constantly running away from you.

So that's a new goal of mine: Finding the balance in time management.

This will include a stricter bed time for sure, but also not planning things so close together I'm not sure if I'll be on time for the next gig. Also, a stricter wake-up time, so I have enough minutes to cook and eat breakfast, get on some makeup, flat iron. But also, I hope to see fluidity in things as well, know when I can push something back if it'll be better for me.

The idea I'm going for is that less mindless activity and more thoughtful activity will not only fill my days, but my mind as well. That way, I can go to bed (early) knowing that I had an amazing day that left nothing to want.