I cannot help

>> Wednesday, March 21, 2007

But pass on this post, it is cliff's noted for your attention span...

[from Pisser]
The homeless guy was right.

I am horrible and I smell.

Anyway, I think and the awfulness is starting to seep out through my pores. Halp-!

So, does anyone know the name of some foofoo juice which does not:
-turn all funky after an hour or so
-make people go, what is that horrid stench?!
-smell like Tidy Cat & ammonia mixed with mothballs like the last (expensive!) stuff I got? Because I read somewhere that perfume contains bobcat pee, and I am starting to believe it.

It doesn't have to being a puffume; it can be a soap or lotion or anything that doesn't smell like your grandmother's panty drawer sachet.

Be assured, I will not steel your secret potion and seduce all your lovers, because everything breaks down on me like compost heap and I end up smelling like a somewhat gassy, rainbow-colored cloud hanging over a used maxi pad anyway, no matter how much dough I frivolously shilled out for the stink-water. My father says it's all man repellent, anyway.

But pleez to helping me not to smell all the time so bad, like cat box.

Go cheap, easy, and natural. Get a spray bottle full o tap water (i'm sure you have one around for the taming of cats) and 1/2 tbsp or 'one giant glob' of any essential oil. Try peppermint if you want to smell like a stick of gum, rose if you want to smell like a disney movie starring hillary duff, or bergamot if you want to smell like bathroom poop-cover sprays. Shake vigorously and spray (yourself, not the cats). Do not drink or attempt to fly.
Yeaaahtoast | Homepage | 03.20.07 - 1:17 pm | #

Take please prostate of khazak hedgehog and grind into paste. Smear paste on and about girlpenis. Hedgehog must be killed in traditional way of drowning in rusty bucket of old lady urine while smoking camel non filter from 1967...the summer of love and checking goat for pregnancy.
And SHAZZAM! You vagin smell like petal of rose.
Trust me for this to be true.
th'rev | Homepage | 03.21.07 - 12:37 am | #


Post a Comment

  © Blogger template Simple n' Sweet by Ourblogtemplates.com 2009

Back to TOP